The Zen of Baby

Parents of older children love to tell newly pregnant parents about all the things they will have to do without: no more long uninterrupted nights of sleep, no more endless weekend hours to play, no more spontaneously going out. “Your life is over”, they seem to say, and they relish saying it. “Come join me in my misery!”

But I see it the other way around. In having a baby, I had to set aside all of the inessentials. I had to carefully manage those things which I *needed*: daily grooming, a weekly dinner with friends, time with Chris. And slowly, I am getting back the things I had to set aside.

As a result of having the fluff stripped away from my life, I am left pondering that which I still have. I have the time this morning to leisurely brush my teeth? Wow! I haven’t found scraping the morning gunk off of my teeth to be pleasurable in, well, ever. Now, it’s refreshing.

So many little things I have taken for granted now bring me satisfaction. The kitchen is clean again, hooray! OMG, a vacuumed room is a welcoming room!

Even the dreaded task of waking up in the middle of the night to change and feed the baby has stopped being a chore. Gabe is always at his sweetest. There are good programs to listen to on the radio, the internet is always open, snacks are in the kitchen, and nothing is required of me aside from taking care of a happy baby.

Last night Chris took a turn, and I stayed in bed. It was a little rough for the both of them, since it’s a change in their routines. Dad instead on Mom, bottles instead of breasts, different lights on, different rooms used. (And it was strange for me, too. I found myself laying in bed missing the feeling of a warm baby in my arms.) I heard some crying, and when Chris tried and failed to get a sleeping Gabe to stay asleep for the transfer into the cosleeper, he sounded frustrated. But he said that Gabe had been so very happy to see him! So full of smiles! And when he went back to bed, Chris seemed deeply content.